LBQT activists, the Oscars and their selective outrage...

To the genuine victims of Harvey Weinstein, let me start off by saing: "It wasn't your fault."

Everyone does disgraceful things to advance their careers. ("Art is good. Artists tend to be scumbags. But art is good!" as I like to tell myself.) So much of show business is based on personal relationships, fluid work hours/locations and a great deal of nudity. These things lead to nepotism and lax professional work environments. When President Bill Clinton was caught receiving oral sex in the Oval Office, it was so many in Hollywood who said "so what?" In show business, it is not uncommon for men to have sex with female--and sometimes male--subordinates. What Clinton participated in was not just a morality issue but also a sex crime. Hollywood has never really addressed that, rather changing the subject to illustrate Republican/conservative hypocrisies on sex.


The question of why this is all coming out now can be condensed to: Weinstein is an old lion. Past his prime, he's now too weak to defend himself against his adversaries. He is the last of the Hollywood gatekeepers, the old time studioheads who decided which movies would get made and who would have careers in filmmaking. Kids can now create their own passion projects, independent of Project Greenlight. The technologically modern idea of public shaming on a global scale has taken hold, and three decades of bad karma and masturbating into potted plants have come back to haunt him. It could not have happened to a nicer guy. So what was once an open secret became a public scandal, as countless women (and some men) must now disclose what they know and when they knew it. Not in 2000 years have so many Jews publically denied knowing one of their champions. Weinstein is like Jesus if Jesus had asked women to watch him shower. In a few months, Hollywood liberals will discover Roman Polanski raped a girl.


Donald Trump is being blamed for the issue of toxic male culture. (Why couldn't Hillary have become President? She would've stepped into her time machine and stopped that sex offender from sex offending and making her political career possible, thus triggering a paradox that...would've destroyed the observable universe!) The difference is that Weinstein paid millions to make these charges go away while Trump often refused to settle, refusing to acknowledge his sex crimes ever happened. The difference is there's audio of Trump joking about grabbing women by the pussy and audio of Weinstein attempting to do it. Weinstein's accusers outnumber Trump's by at least a factor of ten, many of whom are wealty and famous in their own right--and not all accusers are equals.




Let's not mince words: Weinstein was able to do what he did because he was making money. Money for Miramax. Money for Disney. Money for the Weinstein Company. If these companies paid out a million to settle claims in a given year, he would've made fifty times that for these companies.


The problem should be that Weinstein was using Miramax and later the Weinstein Company as a slush to pay off his inappropriate behavior. Art is a business here, and there is still some decorum in conducting one's self in a business setting. It should not be about how attractive he is or was.




It is my understanding that Weinstein was never exactly a ladies' man. (His pick-up move involved asking women if they wanted to watch him shower; far from ingenious, this was pathetic. Weinstein's MO was pathetic.) Like Bill Clinton, Weinstein was not popular with girls in school. Whereas Clinton had intelligence and charisma, Weinstein had intelligence and  bluster. Cruelty got him to the top. So many of them behind the scenes of Hollywood--whether directors or producers or unemployed screenwriters--were weird kids growing up. They weren't the popular boys surrounded by legions of friends. This leaves a void in an older man's life, as he is guided by the same raw instincts but previously had no ability to satisfy them. You "use what you got" in this world, and Weinstein had power as a producer and a studio head.


At the root of these claims are typically Weinstein's attempts to get laid. Kate Beckinsale recounts her coming into the exec's hotel room (when she was 17!) and he clumsily attempted to seduce her. The actress recalled that it “did not cross my mind that this older, unattractive man would expect me to have any sexual interest in him.” Since Beckinsale opened this door, let's all agree that more women would've watched him shower if he looked like Brad Pitt. (By the way, how weird was it that Weinstein kept trying to bang Pitt's girlfriends?) So much of it having been harassment was not an issue of female professionalism--many of these women have had sex with their costars or coworkers--but the issue was that Weinstein wasn't hot. If he had been, it wouldn't have been sexual harassment so much as sexual fulfillment. Hollywood has long fought for the private sex lives of consenting adults--often while employing the most liberal uses of the terms "consenting" and "adult." The ladies wouldn't have been complaining if they were attracted to him; the scandal would be much smaller. Instead we have the image of real-world Jabba the Hut trying to find a girl to put on the gold bikini.




In defense of Harvey Weinstein, he probably didn't ruin that many careers. These women told him to go fuck himself--or stop fucking himself in front of them--and he moved on to the next woman. That he had Angelina Jolie and Gwyneth Paltrow blacklisted in the 90s stretches credibility. The work dried up for Mira Sorvino and Rosanna Arquette because they turned 30. They got old. Too old for teenage boys to whack off to them without thinking about their mothers. Megan Fox will soon be her generation's Mira Sorvino. Not Weinstein's fault, specifically. More of an issue of how time works.




Hollywood and Weinstein specifically contributed to a series of anti-Christian movies, espousing the hypocrisies of the Catholic Church and Christianity in general (Dogma, Doubt, Priest, Bob Roberts). Hollywood calls Trump a Nazi, while giving an Oscar to an actual Nazi. (I'm not kidding. Google Leni Riefenstahl.) The real perverts are Christian men, especially white Republicans. Gay men aren't freaks who like to touch boys; Catholic priests are freaks who like to touch boys. "SEE!?! LOOK AT THE HYPOCRISY!!! Vote for gay marriage." Vice-President and conservative Christian Mike Pence gets mocked for not wanting to be alone with a female, and Weinstein gets mocked for enjoying his private meetings with female coworkers. Hollywood can't have it both ways. Hollywood, like all of the American workforce, has to choose at what point do things appear inappropriate.




 Meanwhile, so many mainstream artists have been living elbow deep in sexual perversion. They gave an Oscar to Roman Polanski, a well-known child rapist. Weinstein bundled millions to popular liberal candidates, including the Clintons and Obama. Donald Trump can breath a sigh of relief.

#OscarsSoWhite...and pretty gay.

 

In the 1960s, the Academy of Motion Pictures and Sciences was rightly criticized for giving awards to bland movies like Around the World in 80 Days, in repudiation of what was actually going on in the streets of America. These were the movies that the founders of the industry wanted to see and harkened back to the Golden Era of Hollywood extravaganzas. We are now witnessing history repeating itself and a backlash to the backlash. Back then the Academy was made up of old white guys who didn't think much of what was happening on the streets. Now we have old rebels still rebelling except there is no longer anything to rebel against--and they are the old white guys who fancy themselves as the gatekeepers to art in film. They just think they're "stickin' it to the Man" or "sockin'" it to various folks. But you can trust people over 30; that's not really that old and they might have good ideas.


 The Oscars are becoming something closer to the AARP's "movies for adults" awards than the Teen Choice Awards. Yes, adults have a better understanding of the world; however kids' ideas are so often more fun. That is the great contradiction of the world that we live in and the nature of art itself. Art is subjective; however, the Academy has supported and we all surrendered to the idea that they know what the best art is in the world of film. (There are plenty of rival awards shows--especially the Golden Globes and SAG awards--that also offer a perspective into which movies are the best, and these other awards shows act as feeders into the Oscar race.) They are tainted by their own biases, and their own socio-political agendas, which are tied to being white, over-educated liberals living in Los Angeles or New York. You will never see the Ronald Reagan biopic be nominated for anything. You will never see a movie about a heroic Catholic priest, or a courageous logging company standing up to environmentalists. In 2004, The Passion of the Christ received zero nominations on the acting/directing/writing/picture side, and there were no black people involved. Whereas Christians were in awe of the Lord and Savior's final days, who died for our sins, Jews saw it as torture porn. Far from being anti-Christian, the Academy voters didn't see why Passion was an important movie.


 When you look at all the Oscar best picture nominees in our lifetimes, the same patterns emerge as to who and what gets nominated. These movies are "Oscar-bait," as are many of the performers. There's a courageous white liberal fighting the system. They're often pro-gay rights, pro-reproductive rights. Many of the heroes are atheists or Jewish. These movies are not so much bad or wrong as unoriginal--you can be right and still annoying. Then the Academy hires a hip host (Letterman, Stewart, Rock, the Franco-Hathaway abortion) to try to sell these gold-plated turds to the kids. Chris Rock is hosting again, and this will be the most awkward Oscars' ceremony ever.


 The last time Rock hosted, in 2005, he ran videoclips asking black people on the streets what they thought of the nominees, and recorded their confusion as to what these movies even were. He also did a bit where he pointed out that most people didn't know who Jude Law was. The joke was that Law came out of nowhere and became the IT Boy of Hollywood--and most of the attendees got his point: The film industry took an attractive, talented white man and decided he was the most important actor alive. This was followed by presenter Sean Penn giving a graven defense of Law. An important lesson was learned by Hollywood that night: Sean Penn doesn't get humor.


 We should always remember that the Academy has it's favorites, like doting older relatives or school teachers. You know some people get nominated because they remind voters of their grandkids--looking at you, Brie Larson. Some actresses are a throwback to the beauties of days back and they get nominated because they are likable. Jennifer Lawrence is a tomato! She's a sparkplug with gams that go all the way up there!... Nice tits! Meanwhile people who alienate the members will never recover. Mel Gibson created one of the most successful movies of 2004; his career nonetheless took a dive because he's batshit crazy and it stopped being amusing.


 Sylvester Stallone was nominated because he's been doing this for forty years. He has friends in the Academy. Michael T. Jordan and Ryan Coogler are still untested properties. (Oh, and the Fantastic Four reboot sucked--I know it's not your fault, Jordan. But it sucked.) Meanwhile a "Alone Yet Not Alone" got nominated last year. What's "Alone Yet Not Alone"? It's a song written by Bruce Broughton. Who's Bruce Broughton? He was the President of the Academy. He literally called up nominating members and told them to nominate his song. Which they did. (The nomination would ultimately be rescinded for being too damn obvious!)


 Let me clarify that there is nothing wrong with having homosexual thoughts, and there's certainly nothing illegal about two adults having sexual contact in a private setting. These are movies that black people and Americans in general do not want to see. (A lot of men don't want to watch Nicholas Sparks movies, and it's not because watching heterosexual white people kiss disgusts us.) Hollywood has failed America. Not by allowing gays to marry or serve in the armed force but in making movies about cowboys who sodomize each other. The battle for gay rights has led to a surplus of terrible Oscar-bait movies. This year the most obvious Oscar-bait movie is probably Freeheld, featuring two attractive lesbians who want to get married so the younger one can receive the other's pension...before she dies of cancer. As a cherry on the top is Steve Carrell as the flamboyant gay attorney fighting the system. Freeheld did not get any nominations, not because it was bad, but because so many other white liberal movies got nominated. It was truly a space issue.


The problem with conservatism is that they will always lose. The problem with progressivism/liberalism, is that the day that the battle is over will be the day in which they become obsolete. The fight is over; you turn your swords into ploughs. But some soldiers don't want to become farmers. Watching Sidney Poitier movies doesn't work anymore. You can't make an advocacy film after the issue has been settled--that just doesn't make sense.


 Michael Bay understands this quit well, and he abandons ideology. He fills his movies with shots of teen girls' asses (we will have to address that in another blog post) and the American flag. Bay knows what Americans want to see: Giant CGI robots talking about honor, integrity and sacrifice. These are values that America and Hollywood should be about. Americans generally don't want to see these weird indie movies full of foreigners where you have to see a dingdong. We don't want to see a movie where men are wearing dresses unless it's a comedy.


 When George Clooney extolled Hollywood for giving Hattie McDaniel an Oscar, he neglected to mention that she was given the award for playing a happy slave. She was given an award by white liberals for playing a slave--a literal slave. Morgan Freeman (chauffer), Jaime Foxx (R&B musician), Lupita Nyong'o (slave), Denzel Washington (slave, dirty cop), Halle Berry (wife of a convict), Mo'Nique ("Welfare queen"), Cuba Gooding Jr. (athlete), Forrest Whittaker (African dictator), Terrence Howard (pimp who aspires to be a rapper). What's the solution to this? I have none--I know it sounds like I'm about to offer a solution to this, but I'm not. I'm literally just pointing this out. I'll let you figure out what this means.


 It would be easy to call this racism. But it's actually stranger than racism. It's the mutant love child of racism and anti-racism. All the black winners were surely thankful for the pay bump that the award provided them, but something so liberating can come at the expense of honor. It's enjoying colored music but not letting black patrons in the club. McDaniel was invited at the table but had to sit at a segregated table. She was not invited to the after parties. White liberals, like white conservatives, like blacks in the abstract. They like that black people exist, but they don't really want them around too much. If they speak to enough black people, they will grow uncomfortable with their views on gay rights and transgenderism, and illegal immigration...and corporeal punishment...maybe Jews/Muslims. Clooney--for all his Hollywood coolness--gets so much of his own industry's history completely wrong. Real life is messy, and sometimes there are no bad guys, just people with wildly different opinions.


 When talking about who got stiffed this year, the same few names keep coming up: Will Smith, Spike Lee, Michael T. Jordan, cool British black guy whose name that I can never remember. Dozens of white women were shut out of the Oscars, especially older white women. That there is some agreement as to who got stiffed adds value to the argument that the system was rigged, but it also detracts from the idea that there was any coordination to shut out black actors. As so many activists are pointing out, there is a dearth of good roles for black actors.


 Far more insidious than shutting out black actors was the decision that of the four(!) slots for best songs. The song choice includes a classical orchestral piece and a Lady Gaga song. The Academy only needed to nominate one piece to retain credibility: "See You Again" by Wiz Kalifha. This is also a non-controversial choice since literally everyone (white/black, men/women) under the age of 40 likes it. (To be fair, both Eminem and 360 Mafia received Oscars for best song, so it's not entirely a matter of racism or anti-populism.)


 In the future, to be fairer, the Academy should expel more gay guys. It is the only way to insure fairness. (Note: As I was writing this, the Academy did alter its rules to prevent older but inactive Academy members from voting.)

 

Did anyone say "Oscars"?!

Predictions for Oscars:

If Jennifer Lawrence wins an Oscar, Anne Hathaway will attack her in the parking lot and take it. That's her plan for getting one.

Mia Farrow would complain about Cate Blanchett not condemning Woody Allen in her acceptance speech for "Blue Jasmine."

You know who will be in the "In Memoriam" segment? Dead celebrities! Every year! Who's murdering them?

Ellen DeGeneres will offer twerking jokes. Whether she, herself, will twerk remains to be seen.

Ellen Page will greet DeGeneres with the lesbian secret handshake. Welcome to the team. Fly into the Danger Zone.

The black chick with the interesting backstory will win. I'm not interested in looking up her name. Lupe, I think. Lupe. The irony that the Academy will give another Oscar to a black person for playing a slave while congratulating itself for its progressiveness will be lost on everyone.

Oh, black people might've seen "12 Years a Slave." That is all. The only black person to have seen "Gravity" was Sandra Bullock's kid. This will not be your year either, Tyler Perry.

Mila Kunis will be too busy performing oral sex to attend the Oscars.

Every time Philip Seymour Hoffman is mentioned, the audience will go insane with applause. Are they happy he's dead? Did he owe all these celebrities money?

Pharell's hat will be allowed to continue its reign of terror.

Seth MacFarlane will have to settle for "Dads." What? Low ratings? Gonna be cancelled? Well, he still has his money pile.

Idia Menzel will kill it with "Let It Go."

What other kind of shenanigans can Ellen Page get into?

It feels like she came out years ago, right. It's like discovering Shirley Temple was still alive and had just died.

The reason beyond how sporty she was was that she was never particularly enthused talking about the sexy guys who she was dating in the past--something that so many of us undoubtedly thought was ironic detachment. She dated the sexiest man in Sweden, which makes one wonder if Alexander Foreign Name turned her into a Lilith Fair attendee. (Great music, by the way.)

I get the creepy feeling that this was meant to force herself back into the public eye. Jennifer Lawrence has really stolen her thunder on the 20-something "It Girl" role. Unlike Page, Lawrence will be around forever, having been nominated for TWO Oscars before she was old enough to drink--her humor, grace, beauty (and height) have catapulted her several slots above the Canadian. Really, Lawrence is Meryl Streep with great cans. (Love you, Jennifer.) Jennifer Lawrence is the Kate Upton of great actresses.

To promote Whip It a few years back, she did a pseudo-lesbian photoshoot with Director Drew Barrymore, which begs he question: Was that offensive? Not offensive because watching hot chicks go to town on each other is offensive, but offensive because they were using someone else's sexual identity to draw men to a romcom. Turns out one of those ladies was actually gay, which made it less bad.

Oh, and when will Ellen Page come out as a secret American? That'll be shocking. What if she isn't a Canadian at all!?! Think about that.