"Have mercy!"...is what Lori Loughlin will tell the judge.

You rarely see such moments of insta-karma as the results of "Operation Varsity Blues." When the chips were down, these limousine liberals would do exactly what wealthy conservatives would do to secure a better future for their children: cheat; take out their checkbooks, and write a check to somebody to fix their children's mental or emotional shortcomings. They believed their kids were great, but they didn't or couldn't force them to pursue their excellence in their teen years. The other children were just that much better, and they freaked out at the last minute and began grasping for a way to for their kids to avoid the indignity of a community college.

When I was a boy, my elementary school went on a campus visit to LA Trade Tech. USC was across the street. It was the only school-sanctioned campus visit that I would go on in my childhood. I might be critical of trade schools, but my issue with them is how elitist that they are: Despite his extolling of their qualities, former President Barack Obama's daughters wouldn't be going to trade schools.

The game is already rigged (in favor of star athletes, legacies, the children of big donors), and these people probably thought they were just being a part of the larger corruption. It is legal for a child with learning disabilities to get more time on the SATs. But as well as using the term "ruh-roh" Scooby Doo-style in her email correspondence amongst her fellow conspirators, Huffman allegedly was having a proctor "correct" her eldest daughter's answers. (Those tests are culturally biased...in favor of people in her culture.) Loughlin supposedly had her two daughters recruited as USC female crew (rowing). There's no evidence that either girl has ever rowed. One of the ringleaders was allegedly photoshopping client's faces onto real athletes' bodies. This is getting ridiculous and comical. This will be the premise of a series of movies over the next couple years.

It's interesting that mothers got ensnarled by this and what this says about the accuracy of gender stereotyping. Their husbands were busy working, on the periphery of their kids' lives. Loughlin and Huffman were the drivers here. Whatever the truth might be, Huffman will probably fall on the sword for her family.

These folks were so coarse that they were writing checks to get their kids in while seeking a way to get their money back as a tax deduction. The bribery was just not large enough not to be considered bribery. Now they're fucked.

Olivia Jade might be a perfectly nice young woman, but she recently posted a vlog declaring her desire to go to USC for partying, not for scholastics or even to expand her horizons. Those were her words--words that she had to clarify in a later vlog. The irony is that she was already an entertainer and didn't even need to go to college; it was something her parents expected of her. Olivia Jade will probably now lose more money when she loses her sponsorships than she would've made with any degree that she could realistically earn from USC. Thanks, mom.

The middle-class schlubs who ran this scheme are going to prison for awhile. The desperate housewives, lacking priors, will get fines, community service, probation. These allegations are not sexual or even violent. This scandal will be a dark spot in their various Hollywood memoirs.