Here's why the Bay TMNT movie isn't going to suck.

ISN'T.

It's about human-sized ninja turtles. It's already at the peak of ridiculousness. It can't be worse than the rubber suit versions--but I suppose I am ruining some of your childhoods by pointing out how bad those films were. The 2007 CGI version was alright.

William Fichter is awesome. Loved him since "Grace Under Fire." Good casting. Love that. I'm glad Megan Fox realized that she's not a great movie star on her own and made her peace with Bay. See, he's not as bad as Hitler! There you go!

Baxter Stockman will at least be represented. K. Todd Freeman is a brilliant actor who deserves his due. It seemed that he peaked in "Buffy"--but, no, he's back!

Yes, the Turtles' heads have a passing resemblance to dicks.

That is all.... And turtle power, I guess.