The tiny baby carrot...

Many leftists are now comparing Trump to a fascist leader such as Hitler. I don't believe that is a fair comparison. Hitler was a veteran.

The chief problem with the fascism comparison of the rise of Trump is that 2016 America is nothing like Interwar era Germany. Germany was racked by hyperinflation having been forced unjustly to pay reparations for World War I. The American economy is strong, and we don't require a strongman. A spineless woman like Hillary Clinton would do. Hitler was an ideologue; Trump is an opportunist. Hitler wanted to change the world; Trump just wants to be seen as important. Trump has long positioned himself in the nexus between culture, entertainment and government, which was why he supported the Clintons when they were all winning.

I am reminded of that episode of The Simpsons where Ralph Wiggum is nominated for President as an act of defiance against the American political system and media, and he ends up being embraced as a bold thinker by the clueless media and public. Trump is a political outsider, we are told, and that makes him specially suited for the Presidency.

The reason that Trump supporters give for their support of him is that he's a political outsider. However outside things are on the outside for a reason. When you step in dog shit, you leave your shoe outside your house. You leave that shit-stained shoe on the outside of your home not because the shoe has no value but because you do not want to bring that shit-stained shoe into your home. The Republican Party should consider this before their convention. (Democrats have had their duds, too, but you Republicans are responsible for Trump. You can't blame Trump on Democrats!)

Trump is a common Joe because he's wearing a baseball cap on top of a thousand dollar suit. The man has turned his name into something synonymous with "luxury"; he literally covers everything in gold--you cannot have it both ways--it doesn't work that way! The only thing common about Trump is his boorish behavior, whether it's doxing other Republicans or mocking the disabled or talking about how large his penis is--while, in reality, it has to look like a tiny baby carrot. (Somewhere Bill Clinton is like: "Aw, man, now we can talk about this on the campaign trail?") Trump has such little respect for his supporters that he says he could commit murder and they will still support him. My personal theory is that since Trump's supporters think all politicians are liars anyway, it's okay for him to lie too. However he's not thinking outside the box; he's fabricating reality.

Our 17th President and national disgrace Andrew Johnson was famous for arguing with hecklers during his speeches, too. But Andrew Johnson was often drunk, and Donald Trump is sober. "So if you see somebody getting ready to throw a tomato, knock the crap out of them," Trump said this to his supporters in regards to any protestors who might be in the crowd. When pressed by whether this comment was appropriate, Trump responded by claiming that a tomato thrown could hurt someone. No, stop, Donald Trump. You cannot be seriously injured if someone throws a tomato at you. Trump would rather someone get injured than for him to suffer an embarrassment.

Trump should be allowed to speak so freely as to humiliate himself. The media should report his comments--in their original context--and not attempt to spin it by telling their viewers what Trump really means. No, the media (CNN, Fox, etc.) should report what Trump actually said. Donald Trump is an educated man, and he says what he means because he's a straight-shooter. Mexico is sending rapists and murderers to America. More nations should have nuclear weapons. Eliminate the Department of Environment.

Meanwhile, regardless of their racial make-up or political leanings, some of the most avid Trump protestors clearly aren't American. In America, you do not lose your right to speak freely even if you have hate in your heart. Obstructing traffic is a public safety concern and will backfire (just ask Chris Christie), as moderates see what assholes you are--while Trump can produce evidence of how brilliant he is that these troublemakers are trying to stop his message. There are no safe zones in the real world, and no one wants to hear about micro-aggressions.

In 1968 Chicago, the Democrats rioted "just because" they couldn't decide who would be their party's candidate. The Democratic Party was torn between multiple candidates, some of whom were idealists/outsiders, and they suffered an incredible defeat in November. In 2016, Democrats will be saddled with the Hillster, yes, but Republicans will have to choose between what the lion's share of their membership want or be saddled with a candidate who cannot win.

Yes, in this comparison, Hillary Clinton is now Richard Nixon. Because she's not too bad. She might be Richard Nixon, but we know she's stable enough for the office of the presidency. She's not mentally or emotionally unstable, and her supporters are a silent majority of Americans. At least her scandals won't be weird scandals. When George W. Bush molested Angela Merkel's shoulders or when he failed to escape a reporter's questions by leaving a press conference prematurely (or Lewinskygate, for the lefties)--those were weird scandals. Those were minor scandals, but not the kind of scandals that we expect the President of the United States to become engulfed in because such behavior is beneath the Office of the Presidency. We should always remember that, despite having the handicap of being Richard Nixon, Nixon won two presidential elections.

Trump is talking down to his supporters. He's consciously putting on a show to create a fun atmosphere for himself and his supporters. He is one of the few politicians who is openly two-faced, and Trump has said so much: "When I'm president, I'm a different person. I can be the most politically correct person you've ever seen." Still, this is like the weirdest job interview ever: Yeah, I'm an asshole now; but if you give me the job, I'll stop being such an asshole. You know this isn't how a winning job interview goes, Donald Trump. This is compounded by everything he gets wrong about living in a constitutional republic. His foreign policy plans include war crimes (such as killing the families of terrorists). His ideas such as building a border wall and making Mexico pay for it is magical thinking--as would banning Muslim immigrants. Additionally illegal immigrants would still be able to walk into America as tourists and never leave, and Muslim terrorists would start to lie about being Muslims rather than just lying about being terrorists.

Speaking of magical thinking, the policy ideas of Bernie Sanders are not much better. That Sanders calls himself a "democratic socialist" is pretty bad; that Sanders was so ignorant as to praise Fidel Castro (in the '80s...in Florida) publically is what disqualifies him for the presidency. The President cannot legalize weed. The President cannot pardon student loan debt. As terrible as Trump might be, I do believe Trump is better at handling money than Sanders. Trump's understanding of economics is not Martian. Capitalism is not perfect; now invent something better, humans.

Hillary has been in cover-up mode since her teen years; the Republicans have long made it known that they will come after her for whatever reason. Now it's Benghazi and the email scandal; previously it was for the MURDER of Vince Foster. Clinton is a strategic liar--but Trump is a pathological liar. He lies about things that could be easily Googled and disproven, like American Muslims celebrating 9/11 or Barack Obama not being born in America. He misremembers some things, but cannot acknowledge fault, so he stands by his fictions. Then he blames the media.

As bad as Hillary might be, there is not a scenario in the discernible or theoretical universe where Trump can win more women's votes than her. Trump is you ladies' handsy uncle, isn't he? He has money, but you'd rather not spend more time around him than you have to. Cruz pointed out how much more attractive Trump's wife is than Trump, so Trump retaliated by posting an unflattering photo of Cruz's wife. Trump is married to a sexy young woman, and American women hate that. When you see them together, you can tell how rich he is--it's like Anna Nicole Smith and the very old, decrepit man she married. They just should not be photographed together, least Trump loses what common man cred he might have. Women hate to see an old guy with a sexy young woman, because either their own husbands left them for sexy young women or they are fearful that they will be traded in for younger models. (Pun alert! Trump's wife is a former model.)

Oh, and Bernie Sanders isn't going to happen, people. As you Sanderites grow older, you'll realize that in life, you "take your lumps." You take your lumps so you can dish them out later in life. That Sanders is tens of thousands of dollars in credit card debt gives me pause to hype his economic brilliance. He's an old guy with credit card debt. As terrible as Trump might be, at least he knows how to handle money. And have we ruled out that Sanders isn't just running for President so he can live in a nice house?

There are a number of ways to pay for college. There are federal and state grants, your parents and rich childless family members, the US military, strip or do other temp work, start businesses. Or, you know, you can get a job. Nope. They want the government to pick up the tab. The ghost of Ronald Reagan is saying: Fuck you.

In America, university is a four year vacation, and it is hard to visual a scenario where you get paid to be on vacation. If you want to do it, you go into debt like previous generations. If college were free, it wouldn't be valuable--or less valuable. How is it fair for a poor American who probably never attended university to be forced to pay for a suburban kid's education? Why should anyone have to pay for someone else's $100,000 philosophy degree? I'm an older Millennial, and I had to pay for my college education, and I am not waiting for the government to send me a reimbursement check. (However there is a "DONATE" button on this blog. PayPal me something, folks.) I made an adult decision to attend college. I had to pay for my fuckin' education, so you younger millennials have to pay for your own fuckin' educations too. I was fucked over, so I will fuck over the next generation!

And the President can't legalize weed. If you Bernie supporters would smoke less weed and get off fuckin' Facebook, you would know this. The President can no more legalize weed than he could forgive student loan debt. (Trump- and Sander-backers are thinking of the power of kings or possibly emperors.) Loans are assets, and the government can't seize assets without due process. This is literally in the Constitution. Even if the President tells the attorney general to stop enforcing the unreasonable federal laws against pot, there will still be fifty states banning ownership of large quantities of marijuana. In 2016, nearly all drug convictions are done on the local level. Our prisons are full of potheads who also rape and potheads who also murder. Potheads who rob liquor stores to get more pot, not booze. You only go to jail for pot when you sell a lot of it. Again, Sanders is lying.

This will be a fun summer, at least.