Showing posts with label Jennifer Lawrence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jennifer Lawrence. Show all posts
Saturday, March 5, 2016
Jennifer Lawrence doing something disgusting...
Wearing a bikini? Ew. No, her body is definitely not a problem. Credit TMZ
Saturday, November 14, 2015
Jennifer Lawrence is now a 12 on the Pretentious Scale (She's like the female Lena Dunham.)
Recently Jennifer Lawrence has been taking the ole of fem-warrior, criticizing the patriarchy for the wage gap between the genders, relating how she ended up getting paid less than her three male costars for the 2013 film American Hustle. Like the previous hack of personal photos from her cloud account, Lawrence first blamed herself, then she blamed society for her decisions. This is what she does. She is careful not to accuse anyone or the studio itself. She squarely blames men. Unlike accusing the lonely men of the internet of being sex criminals, she makes a perfectly reasonable point: The "bitch" conceit. So many of us were raised to believe that women should apply a soft power throughout their lives. Of course, sometimes a bitch is just a bitch. Women want to be both assertive and liked. That's not doable. Men better understand that than women.
In last year's hack of Sony, it was revealed that Lawrence was paid less than any of her male costars. Understandably, at first, she things it's because she's a woman. (It's a bit strange that Lawrence never broached the subject of pay with her good friend Bradley Cooper, but whatever. Let's assume that she's being totally honest.)
When you work on a movie set, you learn your place quickly. The crew get to eat before the background actors. There might even be separate dining areas for crew and background. There's almost always special perks in being crew--like shaved ice, or a catering truck specifically marked "crew only." Just as movie stars don't have to deal with crew, the crew can alienate these temp workers. (Oh, and you movie stars have no idea who these background actors are. What's my name? Can Jennifer Lawrence name anyone who has ever worked on her movies who doesn't have an end credit?) Like plants, background actors have died because they weren't given enough water and shade. They're told to "stay here," and a lot do. It's just a matter of professionalism.
Background actors are paid nine dollars an hour to be in a movie briefly. They have no lines to memorize, and they're performing the most rudimentary of actions. Making Adam Smith proud, Hollywood liberals pay people as little as these folks will accept to do the job. Not really society's fault that you're being paid to stand there. You made your own choices.
Katherine Heigl was supposed to be a movie star--remember that? She came off Knocked Up and an Emmy for Gray's Anatomy and she pulled a Caruso. Eventually she was publically outed as "overpaid." I'm not accusing Lawrence of being another Heigl; Lawrence's movies clearly make money, and her work is clearly more diverse than bland romantic comedies where she plays the exact same character. My point is that no one can see the future, and when you have a slim track record, there's no crystal ball to predict one's career trajectory. Also there's no real logic behind how actors are paid, and it can take a column in a national magazine for the suits to realize that an actor is actually terrible, and has been terrible for a very long time.
Jeremy Renner, of the main cast, had the most in common with Lawrence: Relatively new to the world of blockbusters, with just a handful of cameos under his belt--but with critical acclaim for one or two roles. Failed series--just like Lawrence. He was famous for The Hurt Locker, and that's just about it. Meanwhile, Renner had the best response to the controversy: Not my problem. It is not Renner's problem that Lawrence did not get the best possible deal that she theoretically could've. Renner doesn't hate women. It's just that if a woman can't stand on her feet, does she deserve to stand? Plus being a movie star is fuckin' cool. Renner knows how perilous stardom can be, having been such a late-comer to the fame game, and he doesn't want to rock the boat. (In the 1950s, he might've named names--we don't know.)
Christian Bale had been acting since before Lawrence was born; he was in Newsies, when it was a terrible kids' movie and not a terrible Broadway production. Bale has the most awards for his acting. Cooper has a masters' degree in theater. Lawrence never went to college, and a few years prior to Hustle, she played "Mascot" on an episode of Monk. (Remember Monk? It was on USA... It ran for like eight seasons!) If you count minute by minute, Lawrence was probably in the movie the least, so she was paid the least--she was a supporting character, not the main character. Bale is objectively better. Her complaints about gender discrimination highlight another harsh reality: In showbusiness, experience is more often secondary to youth and beauty. Bale and Copper were peaking--nowhere for them to go but the Brando route: get fat and refuse to remember your lines. Lawrence is upset that as the next big thing, she wasn't compensated accordingly; and if she hadn't grown in prominence, she probably wouldn't be complaining at all, and we certainly wouldn't care.
My problem with feminism is when the feminists lie, including using misleading statistics. This can also be seen in the pronouncement that women make 80 cents on the dollar that men makes--or that for every dollar that a woman makes, a man gets a blowjob. (Speaking as a man, where the fuck is my "male privilege"? Jennifer Lawrence is a fuckin' millionaire!) Women have children. In having children, they must take time for from work, which interrupts their career paths. To find fairness, you would have to compare the career paths of a childless woman with that of a childless man. Then--and only then--would we know if the woman was underpaid.
Despite being "underpaid" in the last movie that she did with David O. Russell, she will be appearing in his next film, Joy. She will also be paid 50% more than Chris Pratt (who's now a hot young thing) to star in Passengers.
So even if Lawrence were a man, he would be acting like a bitch.
In last year's hack of Sony, it was revealed that Lawrence was paid less than any of her male costars. Understandably, at first, she things it's because she's a woman. (It's a bit strange that Lawrence never broached the subject of pay with her good friend Bradley Cooper, but whatever. Let's assume that she's being totally honest.)
When you work on a movie set, you learn your place quickly. The crew get to eat before the background actors. There might even be separate dining areas for crew and background. There's almost always special perks in being crew--like shaved ice, or a catering truck specifically marked "crew only." Just as movie stars don't have to deal with crew, the crew can alienate these temp workers. (Oh, and you movie stars have no idea who these background actors are. What's my name? Can Jennifer Lawrence name anyone who has ever worked on her movies who doesn't have an end credit?) Like plants, background actors have died because they weren't given enough water and shade. They're told to "stay here," and a lot do. It's just a matter of professionalism.
Background actors are paid nine dollars an hour to be in a movie briefly. They have no lines to memorize, and they're performing the most rudimentary of actions. Making Adam Smith proud, Hollywood liberals pay people as little as these folks will accept to do the job. Not really society's fault that you're being paid to stand there. You made your own choices.
Katherine Heigl was supposed to be a movie star--remember that? She came off Knocked Up and an Emmy for Gray's Anatomy and she pulled a Caruso. Eventually she was publically outed as "overpaid." I'm not accusing Lawrence of being another Heigl; Lawrence's movies clearly make money, and her work is clearly more diverse than bland romantic comedies where she plays the exact same character. My point is that no one can see the future, and when you have a slim track record, there's no crystal ball to predict one's career trajectory. Also there's no real logic behind how actors are paid, and it can take a column in a national magazine for the suits to realize that an actor is actually terrible, and has been terrible for a very long time.
Jeremy Renner, of the main cast, had the most in common with Lawrence: Relatively new to the world of blockbusters, with just a handful of cameos under his belt--but with critical acclaim for one or two roles. Failed series--just like Lawrence. He was famous for The Hurt Locker, and that's just about it. Meanwhile, Renner had the best response to the controversy: Not my problem. It is not Renner's problem that Lawrence did not get the best possible deal that she theoretically could've. Renner doesn't hate women. It's just that if a woman can't stand on her feet, does she deserve to stand? Plus being a movie star is fuckin' cool. Renner knows how perilous stardom can be, having been such a late-comer to the fame game, and he doesn't want to rock the boat. (In the 1950s, he might've named names--we don't know.)
Christian Bale had been acting since before Lawrence was born; he was in Newsies, when it was a terrible kids' movie and not a terrible Broadway production. Bale has the most awards for his acting. Cooper has a masters' degree in theater. Lawrence never went to college, and a few years prior to Hustle, she played "Mascot" on an episode of Monk. (Remember Monk? It was on USA... It ran for like eight seasons!) If you count minute by minute, Lawrence was probably in the movie the least, so she was paid the least--she was a supporting character, not the main character. Bale is objectively better. Her complaints about gender discrimination highlight another harsh reality: In showbusiness, experience is more often secondary to youth and beauty. Bale and Copper were peaking--nowhere for them to go but the Brando route: get fat and refuse to remember your lines. Lawrence is upset that as the next big thing, she wasn't compensated accordingly; and if she hadn't grown in prominence, she probably wouldn't be complaining at all, and we certainly wouldn't care.
My problem with feminism is when the feminists lie, including using misleading statistics. This can also be seen in the pronouncement that women make 80 cents on the dollar that men makes--or that for every dollar that a woman makes, a man gets a blowjob. (Speaking as a man, where the fuck is my "male privilege"? Jennifer Lawrence is a fuckin' millionaire!) Women have children. In having children, they must take time for from work, which interrupts their career paths. To find fairness, you would have to compare the career paths of a childless woman with that of a childless man. Then--and only then--would we know if the woman was underpaid.
Despite being "underpaid" in the last movie that she did with David O. Russell, she will be appearing in his next film, Joy. She will also be paid 50% more than Chris Pratt (who's now a hot young thing) to star in Passengers.
So even if Lawrence were a man, he would be acting like a bitch.
Saturday, October 11, 2014
Stephen Collins, Jennifer Lawrence: Caught with their pants down--not together; that would be weird.
We've learned a lot of things from recent leaked this year. Kate Upton is dating down. Apparently Anna Kendrick likes pot and coke. Jennifer Lawrence, however, is the biggest star to have her images leaked to the Internet via a third party--still, the revelations concerning veteran actor Stephen Collins's predilections are actually the most destructive.
Ladies, that part of your body is only meant to be seen by you, Jesus, your husband and America's medical professionals. Lock it down, ladies. Lock it down. There. I fixed sexting. Next controversy! Ebola?
Honestly, I never got the appeal of vaj shots. I always assumed that women were smarter than that. (A giant penis warrants a "da fuck?") Almost 15 years since Pamela Anderson had a sex tape featuring her and ex-husband Tommy Lee stolen from their home, it should be assured that celebrities have learned nothing about filming their private moments. If anything, owing to technology, celebs have gotten worse at capturing their shame for posterity. Benjamin Franklin said that three people can keep a secret if two are dead. Now there's the fuckin' cloud. Try killing a cloud. Go ahead. I'll wait. Get your gun and go outside of your house, then pick a cloud at random, and go shoot that sucker. See?... Oh my God--I hope you didn't just discharge a firearm into the air!
Lawrence's first comments discussing this matter were spot on: Her privacy has been violated. She did not intend for this images to be released to the public. The leakers were disrespectful towards women. As a matter of common sense, we are all entitled to privacy, as consenting adults. Lawrence has a point here, if only via a strawman argument: That Lawrence was publicizing these images--no, no one is claiming that she has been. However, Lawrence produced these images. She transmitted them. She's now trying to distract from her bad decisions by blaming people who had done worst, and I don't approve of that--but, yeah. Other people had done worse in this case than transmitting homemade porn via email to another person.
Lawrence should've stopped speaking there. However, she went on: "Anybody who looked at those pictures, you're perpetuating a sexual offense," Lawrence told Vanity Fair. "You should cower with shame. Even people who I know and love say, 'Oh, yeah, I looked at the pictures.' I don't want to get mad, but at the same time I'm thinking, I didn't tell you that you could look at my naked body." And on: "It was long distance, and either your boyfriend is going to look at porn or he's going to look at you."
I'm 99% sure that he looked at both your nudes AND porn, Jennifer. Because it is my understanding that Nic is a dude, and that's how men roll. There's really no well-defined quota to how much nudity that men intend to see. We are never full. Additionally, Hoult probably shared them with numerous male friends. (Sir Ian McKellan looked at them, and he said: "Sweeeet." Exact quote.) Did any boyfriend in Lawrence's past tell her he needed a constant stream of her nude or else he would look at porn or maybe go gay? Was this a ransom situation where a man was threatening to switch teams unless he was provided with a ransom, and Lawrence was forced to pay this ransom by sending in photos of her boobs? Well...was it?
No one needs permission from Jennifer Lawrence to look at images of Jennifer Lawrence. She opened a door, and the breeze came in. She's personally offended that people are looking at images that she created--she crafted a message, then she tried to control the deliverance of a message. Don't be an Anne Hathaway.
Celebrities have long been the first to act as early adapters for new technology--including social networks--while simultaneously refusing to socialize with their legions of fans. For too long, sexy celebs have been living the high life (hey, another Anna Kendrick joke!), exposing themselves to the public thru their celebrity-whoredom but not wanting to own up to it. Some of them are cool with you--to a point--as they put on a façade of self-deprecation. The Fappening took them down a notch. The one thing most shocking, besides the volume of data stolen, was how non-shocking these images are.
In contrast to the hackers, Stephen Collins, has apparently committed sex crimes beyond the digital world. Horrible sex crimes. He allegedly intentionally exposed his genitals to very young girls, and tried to get them to touch him. His career is over. (He knows this, resigning from SAG and slinking away. Consult his attorney.) Unless this is a hoax, we won't be seeing him in mainstream entertainment anymore. Questions remain as to why the police can't find the victims, who are clearly being named in the leaked tapes, and why it took two years for these tapes to be leaked. Why did wife Faye remain married to this creep? His salvation will arrive when these tapes are exposed as a hoax, but this event will not happen. We know this because Collins's message is one of embarrassed defeat.
Over ten years of episodes--down the tube! No, this series has been rendered unwatchable! This is not an exaggeration. Collins was in literally every episode--he was the anchor of the show--and now no one can watch the series without wondering what was going on in the actor's head. What's truly fucked-up is that the series was like a clearinghouse for Millennial-era starlets. Mackenzie Rosman, who was closest to the victims' ages at the time of their alleged molestation, must now search her memories for instances where Collins was inappropriate with her. And, for the love of God, Internet Movie Database, change this photo: http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2442042624/tt0115083?ref_=tt_ov_i!
One thing that we can be sure about this scandal: Chris Martin traded up.
Ladies, that part of your body is only meant to be seen by you, Jesus, your husband and America's medical professionals. Lock it down, ladies. Lock it down. There. I fixed sexting. Next controversy! Ebola?
Honestly, I never got the appeal of vaj shots. I always assumed that women were smarter than that. (A giant penis warrants a "da fuck?") Almost 15 years since Pamela Anderson had a sex tape featuring her and ex-husband Tommy Lee stolen from their home, it should be assured that celebrities have learned nothing about filming their private moments. If anything, owing to technology, celebs have gotten worse at capturing their shame for posterity. Benjamin Franklin said that three people can keep a secret if two are dead. Now there's the fuckin' cloud. Try killing a cloud. Go ahead. I'll wait. Get your gun and go outside of your house, then pick a cloud at random, and go shoot that sucker. See?... Oh my God--I hope you didn't just discharge a firearm into the air!
Lawrence's first comments discussing this matter were spot on: Her privacy has been violated. She did not intend for this images to be released to the public. The leakers were disrespectful towards women. As a matter of common sense, we are all entitled to privacy, as consenting adults. Lawrence has a point here, if only via a strawman argument: That Lawrence was publicizing these images--no, no one is claiming that she has been. However, Lawrence produced these images. She transmitted them. She's now trying to distract from her bad decisions by blaming people who had done worst, and I don't approve of that--but, yeah. Other people had done worse in this case than transmitting homemade porn via email to another person.
Lawrence should've stopped speaking there. However, she went on: "Anybody who looked at those pictures, you're perpetuating a sexual offense," Lawrence told Vanity Fair. "You should cower with shame. Even people who I know and love say, 'Oh, yeah, I looked at the pictures.' I don't want to get mad, but at the same time I'm thinking, I didn't tell you that you could look at my naked body." And on: "It was long distance, and either your boyfriend is going to look at porn or he's going to look at you."
I'm 99% sure that he looked at both your nudes AND porn, Jennifer. Because it is my understanding that Nic is a dude, and that's how men roll. There's really no well-defined quota to how much nudity that men intend to see. We are never full. Additionally, Hoult probably shared them with numerous male friends. (Sir Ian McKellan looked at them, and he said: "Sweeeet." Exact quote.) Did any boyfriend in Lawrence's past tell her he needed a constant stream of her nude or else he would look at porn or maybe go gay? Was this a ransom situation where a man was threatening to switch teams unless he was provided with a ransom, and Lawrence was forced to pay this ransom by sending in photos of her boobs? Well...was it?
No one needs permission from Jennifer Lawrence to look at images of Jennifer Lawrence. She opened a door, and the breeze came in. She's personally offended that people are looking at images that she created--she crafted a message, then she tried to control the deliverance of a message. Don't be an Anne Hathaway.
Celebrities have long been the first to act as early adapters for new technology--including social networks--while simultaneously refusing to socialize with their legions of fans. For too long, sexy celebs have been living the high life (hey, another Anna Kendrick joke!), exposing themselves to the public thru their celebrity-whoredom but not wanting to own up to it. Some of them are cool with you--to a point--as they put on a façade of self-deprecation. The Fappening took them down a notch. The one thing most shocking, besides the volume of data stolen, was how non-shocking these images are.
In contrast to the hackers, Stephen Collins, has apparently committed sex crimes beyond the digital world. Horrible sex crimes. He allegedly intentionally exposed his genitals to very young girls, and tried to get them to touch him. His career is over. (He knows this, resigning from SAG and slinking away. Consult his attorney.) Unless this is a hoax, we won't be seeing him in mainstream entertainment anymore. Questions remain as to why the police can't find the victims, who are clearly being named in the leaked tapes, and why it took two years for these tapes to be leaked. Why did wife Faye remain married to this creep? His salvation will arrive when these tapes are exposed as a hoax, but this event will not happen. We know this because Collins's message is one of embarrassed defeat.
Over ten years of episodes--down the tube! No, this series has been rendered unwatchable! This is not an exaggeration. Collins was in literally every episode--he was the anchor of the show--and now no one can watch the series without wondering what was going on in the actor's head. What's truly fucked-up is that the series was like a clearinghouse for Millennial-era starlets. Mackenzie Rosman, who was closest to the victims' ages at the time of their alleged molestation, must now search her memories for instances where Collins was inappropriate with her. And, for the love of God, Internet Movie Database, change this photo: http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2442042624/tt0115083?ref_=tt_ov_i!
One thing that we can be sure about this scandal: Chris Martin traded up.
Saturday, September 6, 2014
HAVE YOU HEARD THE NEWS!?!
Yep, there's a bunch of leaked nekkid photos of celebrities online, so this will be a brief post. That is all.
Saturday, March 29, 2014
Why do we all hate Anne Hathaway?
On paper, Anne Hathaway should be this American sweetheart. She's been big since 2001's Princess Diaries, where she discovered she was pretty if she straightened her hair--and no other actress has so perfectly balanced kids movies with adult fair than she does. A good reason to explain hatred of her is an incident a couple years back, where she was emerging from a talkshow appearance, signing autographs, and she refused to sign a sexy photo of her from Esquire because there were kids around. She refused to sign a shot that she'd posed for. Because...the kids?
She's the younger Gwyneth Paltrow. She talks like she went to college, but she never went to college. She's the kind of chick who listens to records because "the music sounds better," and she probably knits and drinks craft beers. When she become a mother, she'll be one of those mothers who use cloth diapers and feeds her kid organic baby food. We have to hate her poise, because the poise seems to come from pretentiousness, not from genuine modesty.... She's the much younger Meryl Streep--or the slightly older Jennifer Lawrence.
She has been tainted by guilt from association--namely her association with Italian con artist Raffaello Follieri--and how douchey is it that her boyfriend was named "Raffaello"? They adopted a douchey dog together--all the while he was scamming people out of millions. She would later joke about it on SNL; however this association speaks volumes about her. She either knew that her boyfriend was cheating people or (more likely) this was evidence that she fits the stereotype of the dim bulb actress. (Where's your pretend college education now, college-girl?) Even Lindsay Lohan has never had a relationship with a serious felon--none that we know about.
Her great knockers and booty belie a face that is divisive in how hot we find her. Some people don't view her as attractive, especially her bulbous nose. (I'm okay with her face.) Her decision to crop off her beautiful hair--though admirable for her role in Les Miserable--didn't help her appearance. It seems like her hair isn't growing back, right? And her great big boobs are in danger of sag.
Personally, I will continue watching Hathaway movies. All the while glad that I do not know her in real life. She seems awful.
She's the younger Gwyneth Paltrow. She talks like she went to college, but she never went to college. She's the kind of chick who listens to records because "the music sounds better," and she probably knits and drinks craft beers. When she become a mother, she'll be one of those mothers who use cloth diapers and feeds her kid organic baby food. We have to hate her poise, because the poise seems to come from pretentiousness, not from genuine modesty.... She's the much younger Meryl Streep--or the slightly older Jennifer Lawrence.
She has been tainted by guilt from association--namely her association with Italian con artist Raffaello Follieri--and how douchey is it that her boyfriend was named "Raffaello"? They adopted a douchey dog together--all the while he was scamming people out of millions. She would later joke about it on SNL; however this association speaks volumes about her. She either knew that her boyfriend was cheating people or (more likely) this was evidence that she fits the stereotype of the dim bulb actress. (Where's your pretend college education now, college-girl?) Even Lindsay Lohan has never had a relationship with a serious felon--none that we know about.
Her great knockers and booty belie a face that is divisive in how hot we find her. Some people don't view her as attractive, especially her bulbous nose. (I'm okay with her face.) Her decision to crop off her beautiful hair--though admirable for her role in Les Miserable--didn't help her appearance. It seems like her hair isn't growing back, right? And her great big boobs are in danger of sag.
Personally, I will continue watching Hathaway movies. All the while glad that I do not know her in real life. She seems awful.
Saturday, March 1, 2014
Did anyone say "Oscars"?!
Predictions for Oscars:
If Jennifer Lawrence wins an Oscar, Anne Hathaway will attack her in the parking lot and take it. That's her plan for getting one.
Mia Farrow would complain about Cate Blanchett not condemning Woody Allen in her acceptance speech for "Blue Jasmine."
You know who will be in the "In Memoriam" segment? Dead celebrities! Every year! Who's murdering them?
Ellen DeGeneres will offer twerking jokes. Whether she, herself, will twerk remains to be seen.
Ellen Page will greet DeGeneres with the lesbian secret handshake. Welcome to the team. Fly into the Danger Zone.
The black chick with the interesting backstory will win. I'm not interested in looking up her name. Lupe, I think. Lupe. The irony that the Academy will give another Oscar to a black person for playing a slave while congratulating itself for its progressiveness will be lost on everyone.
Oh, black people might've seen "12 Years a Slave." That is all. The only black person to have seen "Gravity" was Sandra Bullock's kid. This will not be your year either, Tyler Perry.
Mila Kunis will be too busy performing oral sex to attend the Oscars.
Every time Philip Seymour Hoffman is mentioned, the audience will go insane with applause. Are they happy he's dead? Did he owe all these celebrities money?
Pharell's hat will be allowed to continue its reign of terror.
Seth MacFarlane will have to settle for "Dads." What? Low ratings? Gonna be cancelled? Well, he still has his money pile.
Idia Menzel will kill it with "Let It Go."
If Jennifer Lawrence wins an Oscar, Anne Hathaway will attack her in the parking lot and take it. That's her plan for getting one.
Mia Farrow would complain about Cate Blanchett not condemning Woody Allen in her acceptance speech for "Blue Jasmine."
You know who will be in the "In Memoriam" segment? Dead celebrities! Every year! Who's murdering them?
Ellen DeGeneres will offer twerking jokes. Whether she, herself, will twerk remains to be seen.
Ellen Page will greet DeGeneres with the lesbian secret handshake. Welcome to the team. Fly into the Danger Zone.
The black chick with the interesting backstory will win. I'm not interested in looking up her name. Lupe, I think. Lupe. The irony that the Academy will give another Oscar to a black person for playing a slave while congratulating itself for its progressiveness will be lost on everyone.
Oh, black people might've seen "12 Years a Slave." That is all. The only black person to have seen "Gravity" was Sandra Bullock's kid. This will not be your year either, Tyler Perry.
Mila Kunis will be too busy performing oral sex to attend the Oscars.
Every time Philip Seymour Hoffman is mentioned, the audience will go insane with applause. Are they happy he's dead? Did he owe all these celebrities money?
Pharell's hat will be allowed to continue its reign of terror.
Seth MacFarlane will have to settle for "Dads." What? Low ratings? Gonna be cancelled? Well, he still has his money pile.
Idia Menzel will kill it with "Let It Go."
Saturday, February 15, 2014
What other kind of shenanigans can Ellen Page get into?
It feels like she came out years ago, right. It's like discovering Shirley Temple was still alive and had just died.
The reason beyond how sporty she was was that she was never particularly enthused talking about the sexy guys who she was dating in the past--something that so many of us undoubtedly thought was ironic detachment. She dated the sexiest man in Sweden, which makes one wonder if Alexander Foreign Name turned her into a Lilith Fair attendee. (Great music, by the way.)
I get the creepy feeling that this was meant to force herself back into the public eye. Jennifer Lawrence has really stolen her thunder on the 20-something "It Girl" role. Unlike Page, Lawrence will be around forever, having been nominated for TWO Oscars before she was old enough to drink--her humor, grace, beauty (and height) have catapulted her several slots above the Canadian. Really, Lawrence is Meryl Streep with great cans. (Love you, Jennifer.) Jennifer Lawrence is the Kate Upton of great actresses.
To promote Whip It a few years back, she did a pseudo-lesbian photoshoot with Director Drew Barrymore, which begs he question: Was that offensive? Not offensive because watching hot chicks go to town on each other is offensive, but offensive because they were using someone else's sexual identity to draw men to a romcom. Turns out one of those ladies was actually gay, which made it less bad.
Oh, and when will Ellen Page come out as a secret American? That'll be shocking. What if she isn't a Canadian at all!?! Think about that.
The reason beyond how sporty she was was that she was never particularly enthused talking about the sexy guys who she was dating in the past--something that so many of us undoubtedly thought was ironic detachment. She dated the sexiest man in Sweden, which makes one wonder if Alexander Foreign Name turned her into a Lilith Fair attendee. (Great music, by the way.)
I get the creepy feeling that this was meant to force herself back into the public eye. Jennifer Lawrence has really stolen her thunder on the 20-something "It Girl" role. Unlike Page, Lawrence will be around forever, having been nominated for TWO Oscars before she was old enough to drink--her humor, grace, beauty (and height) have catapulted her several slots above the Canadian. Really, Lawrence is Meryl Streep with great cans. (Love you, Jennifer.) Jennifer Lawrence is the Kate Upton of great actresses.
To promote Whip It a few years back, she did a pseudo-lesbian photoshoot with Director Drew Barrymore, which begs he question: Was that offensive? Not offensive because watching hot chicks go to town on each other is offensive, but offensive because they were using someone else's sexual identity to draw men to a romcom. Turns out one of those ladies was actually gay, which made it less bad.
Oh, and when will Ellen Page come out as a secret American? That'll be shocking. What if she isn't a Canadian at all!?! Think about that.
Saturday, January 18, 2014
If Ricky Gervais had hosted this year's Golden Globes.
The Fey-Poeher pairing was pretty funny. Don't get me wrong. But I missed Gervais's sharp-tongue ridiculing of Hollywood pretentiousness. I thought I would imagine an alternate universe, where Ricky would've been given his rightful due, and here's how the night went down:
He would point out how much Amy Poeher looks like Justin Bieber. “That’s right. You know you look like’em, love.”He would mock Steve Carell’s post-Office career. “Not so easy, is it? Not so easy to be in movies.” This would then be followed up by him bringing out the cast of "Anchorman 2" onstage, then he would tell the cast of "Anchorman 2" to leave.
Tell everyone at the ceremony to save their leftovers for the Somali fellow's family, then he would tell Sandra Bullock not to try to adopt him. He's a grown man.
Ricky Gervais broke out his Sean Penn jokes. Sean Penn doesn't get jokes, so he slugged Ricky Gervais.
He would call Mila Kunis a whore. No context. He would just get onstage and call her a whore.
He would tell Jennifer Lawrence not to trip this time…. Then he would totally trip Jennifer Lawrence.
Did anyone say “Paul Walker death jokes”?
He would call Mel Gibson, get him on speaker phone, then break out his Mel Gibson jokes. Because you know he’s got a lot of them.
Woody Allen would be mentioned, and Gervais's head would proceed to explode. (Fortunately Mia Farrow's son filled the vacuum and called him a pedophile.)
Slave jokes! Slave jokes! Slave jokes!
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